photo: http://www.vogue.it/en

The sun was out today. Really out, not just peeking. I sat outside for a spell in shorts and a too-big t-shirt with the sleeves and neck cut open wide, knees together and feet turned inward. My favorite way to sit. The sun warms like nothing else. It's not like fireplace, nor a warm vent - which are both nice, but the sunshine is different. The sun makes the air smell different to me. So nostalgic mixed with burning charcoal grills, when I don't mind the smoke so much. I rather enjoy the smell of smoke in the summer, a campfire or a charcoal grill in the warm sunshiny air.

Today I've been sitting inside for the rest of the time. Every door and window is open. Leaves are blowing in across the floors. Right now I'm stopping to glance up occasionally and look out the door. A moment ago, there was a squirrel watching me, it was hooked onto the tree in a funny way. After that, a bold male cardinal who stopped and gazed in for a while, well, a while for a bird at least. I hear the leaves rustling again, which is different than the rustling palms of southern california, still like rushing water, but in Texas it's more like a rambling creek - less like a brooding, dreaming ocean.

This morning the sky was deep bright blue, the sun was uninterrupted. Into the late afternoon it's still blue with a wash of white, superficial and moving. Right now I'm perfectly safe. Even with the sun in my eyes, I can still see clearly.

I'm on the floor and I smell like myrrh and vanilla and salt from sweat. It's one of those scents that catches in your nose for a moment. Warm and bronzing. I think so. It smells of a mix: One part human, two parts energy and life.

I slept in Betty's bed last night while a friend came over and slept on the couch. It's a safe place with a good friend, the best combination. Where I really want to sleep is on an immense teddy bear with certain someone. Warm and soft and inviting.