I've been waiting to do this. Wanting to be alone and free of time and willing to write again. I wonder if the full moon has been influential. I can list the ways the moon has done its mysterious deeds today. It was an unusual day. On my bike on the way to school, I noticed a brilliant sun and the sky was creme-fraiche, it was a perfect day. The kind that make you want to have damp feet from the garden floor, and hear music in your pockets. The days that make it easier to imagine being in a different city and in another decade. To play make-believe. I still play that game. It's not as easy as when I was seventeen. It makes me sad because when I was seventeen, I didn't know it and never enjoyed it. But today, I enjoyed as much as I could. I rounded a bend in the road curving around a park while I was riding but instead of going to school, I went to the park instead.

Today I took some pictures of a tree that was lining up with the sun. It reminded me of an eclipse and the camera obscuras I saw on tv last week. While I was lying there I bullied mini hybrid bees swarming around my ears, the little bees that confuse themselves with flies. I watched a cricket squeaking, and tried to study, I felt guilty that I wasn't working in a hospital but I stayed there in the grass and with my computer and books and duck food for lunch for 3 or 4 hours. I wanted to avoid the library that was waiting for me but decided to go instead and do something productive. When I was there I found a spot for myself that was very private. Libraries are sexy, they're appealing to people who are happiest alone.